Monday, November 07, 2005

Let’s Junk the V-12 Hybrid

Last night, my friend Genevieve invited me to stand with her on a Santa Monica sidewalk to support Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. I declined and she went without me. I thought about my absence all evening, but by the time I saw her on television that night, any residual guilt was gone.

If you haven’t already noticed, conservatives are almost non-existent at public rallies and demonstrations. It’s not that we don’t exist. Our absence doesn’t stem from apathy or inattention either. Of the conservatives I know, almost all are too engaged with careers they’ve built, children they didn’t abort, and too happy to leave their homes to face off with unhappy people.

I believe, however, that the biggest reason conservatives don’t show up in large numbers at public demonstrations is that we don’t have union handlers to pressure us into interrupting our free time under threat that we might lose our jobs. As indefatigable as conservatives are, most would rather not waste their time or energy competing with the coercion and fear used to herd union members onto city streets.

Think about it: If 500 union activists faced off with 15,000 conservatives in Westwood tomorrow, do we really think that someone stuck in traffic will say, Wow, that’s a really clever sign – I think I’ll join the Republican Party. Probably not. What bigger message can we deliver than by securing the Oval Office, House, and Senate? Yelling at union employees to leave the plantation is as pointless as telling Bruins to become Trojans. You can’t push a string and you can’t coerce freedom and happiness. Conservatives demonstrate not by scrawling haiku on cardboard signs, but by how we live.

Trying to convince undecided voters is equally pointless; for if she (or he) has a life, a career, a family, and spiritual fulfillment, she’s already conservative whether she knows it or not. If she’s unhappy, depressed, lonely, friendless, and uneducated, the union slavery that offers companionship, three meals, and a cot may look pretty good. Nothing we say will convince her to leave the plantation until she wants more for herself.

My point is that I believe conservative demonstrators are as practical as V-12 hybrids: And while some of us may think we need fuel-efficient muscle cars to impress the competition, I’d rather relax in the grandstand with my family and friends to watch the Democratic Party’s demolition derby. What better message can conservatives share that matches our deliberate non-appearance at their contrived assemblies?

Personally, I can’t think of a better way to demonstrate.

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