LAPD Jukes the Numbers

As Mayor Antonio (Where’s Waldo) Villaraigosa and LAPD Chief William Bratton congratulate themselves for their fourth year of plummeting crime statistics, Westside resident TJ Sullivan helps us understand the real nature of LA’s falling crime in his essay, Gimme That Bike.

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Someone stole TJ’s bicycle. He writes of its sentimental value and his assumption that no one would take it if he locked it in his carport. How quaint.

When TJ called to report the theft, the officer (he wrote), “…was kind enough to invite me down to the station. However, she also imparted the chilling reality: ‘It won’t do any good.’ I took her at her word and didn’t waste my time.”

Although I can’t corroborate TJ’s claims, his story rings true. I’ve worked the front desk at several LAPD stations. Typically, two or three officers are assigned to handle hundreds of phone calls and crime reports on three or four lines without letting the unanswered phones upset the watch commander. So desk officers spend their shifts juggling calls and hurried reports. It may be the LAPD’s most frustrating and thankless assignments.

There's more. The phones don’t stop for the endless parade of battered women, anxious victims, bondsmen, angry relatives, and assorted tramps, gangs, and psychos that mingle while waiting for desk cops to complete lengthy multi-page reports from the exhausted people who got there first. Except for short breaks, desk officers endure relentless calls, reports, and abuse from the unfocused rage of people who have no one else to lash out to. This hasn’t changed since the days when I worked the Van Nuys Desk 25 years ago and it is probably worse today. If you don’t believe me, visit your local station sometime.

The officer who blew off TJ was rendered incompetent not by her own fault, but because she’s deployed to one of the LAPD’s 19 geographic crime-reporting chokepoints. Los Angeles is simply not capable of recording or investigating every crime, so citizens either get slighted like TJ, or they decide not to bother the busy officers (who probably have more important things to do), or they simply give up. It’s bad enough that your bike gets pinched, but waiting hours or days for a report that nobody reads only makes the loss more painful.

The community has a right to be angry, but Villaraigosa hired Bratton to take the heat, and the LA Dog Trainer (Times) is too enamored by our mayor to make waves. If TJ’s experience causes a minor embarrassment, Bratton slams the cop. If it causes major embarrassment, Villaraigosa slams Bratton. Either way, Bratton insulates the Mayor and City Council from the LA cops they place in impossible positions – and rolling heads gives distracted taxpayers the illusion that courageous politicians are holding “bad cops” accountable.

There’s nothing accidental about this arrangement either. Young men and women join the LAPD to protect and serve. But if the LAPD hired enough uniforms to document LA’s real crime epidemic, LAPD’s statistics would explode far beyond cities like New York, Chicago, or Boston – cities that have an even worse record on crime, corruption, and veracity. And if America’s safest big city starts reporting accurate stats, some other big city will take the prize without even trying.

If the LAPD suddenly added 15,000 hard-charging veteran police officers to handle crime and take reports, the mayor could not afford subways to nowhere, or collect millions of dollars in union dues needed to fund his gubernatorial ambitions. And because LA’s top cop is no longer protected by civil service rules, he can’t afford to be honest with taxpayers either – at least until he’s recovers his virtue or is ready to retire.

TJ’s essay continued:

I told the managers of my building in the hopes that they would care enough to warn other residents to protect their own bikes, maybe even endeavor to lock their car doors. But, the managers rebuffed me. “You saw the signs!” the one manager insisted. “We’re not responsible for stolen items!” My efforts to explain that I held no one responsible fell on deaf ears. The other manager shouted something from deep within the management lair. It sounded like “We don’t care about anybody!”

Call me a sucker, but I still believe we’re all in this together.

TJ’s apartment managers were not only unsurprised by TJ’s loss, but are apparently so deluged with theft complaints that they’re annoyed by his. Crime is so rampant that they’ve posted warning signs!

And contrary to what TJ learned in journalism school, diversity has Balkanized Angelinos. We’re NOT all in this together.

• Taxpayers want a safe and healthy place to live.
• Mayor Villaraigosa wants to be governor.
• The City Council wants a third term.
• The LA Dog Trainer wants to survive AND keep Republicans out of office.
• Chief Bratton wants another six figures.
• Cops want to go home safe without getting indicted, shot, or fired.
• Progressives want a socialist state.
• Civil Rights lawyers want settlements.
• Homosexuals want gay marriage.
• Uninsured Californians want others to pay for their healthcare.
• Teachers want another raise.
• LA voters… well… they’re… Hey look, a chicken!

Thanks for helping me explain this, TJ.